NO TOUT ABOUT IT-I SHIFT BRIEFS

I MUST give credit to the friends and family who will rally behind me at Hampden this weekend - over two grand's worth.

The Scottish Cup Final is just five days away and already so many tickets have passed through my hands I feel like a well-connected tout at T in the Park.

By Sunday night, I was up to 261 briefs and by Wednesday the count could be close to 300 . . . and I probably could have sold even more.

By tomorrow they will all be accounted for and distributed, leaving me free to focus on the little matter of facing Hearts.

The phone started ringing with requests for briefs minutes after we saw off Dundee - and it hasn't stopped since.

In total, with the help of my mum Karin, I've got rid of over six grand's worth of tickets, with a third of that sum being thrown on a credit card that is beginning to buckle under the strain.

At one point, Brooks Mileson threatened to stop selling me any more but thankfully supply has maintained pace with demand and I've managed to sort everyone out.

In case the SFA are reading this, it goes without saying that tickets are being passed on for face value only - we doctors do have ethics, you know. My mum rounded up the money from over 70 family and friends while my mate Neil Thomson, who coaches several kids' groups around the Falkirk area, has distributed over 100 tickets to the youngsters.

I've handed out 80 to former team-mates, university pals and work colleagues, including the glamorous nurses from Wishaw General who threatened to strip off if I scored in the semi-final.

Thankfully, they kept their clothes on and, as many of them are bringing their kids along to the Final, I'm expecting best behaviour against the Jambos from such pillars of the community.

I shouldn't hold my breath but I was nearly clutching my shins on Friday night when I ran into a group of Hearts fans in Edinburgh with menace in their eyes.

A fan of my former club, East Fife, is involved with Salvesen Boys Club and invited me along to hand out the trophies to the lads after another successful season by one of the best youth sides in the country. There were around 80 kids present, half of them Jambos, the other half Hibees, and I could tell the boys in maroon were up for a bit of mischief.

Take it from me, it looks as if there are a few wee hard men in the Salvesen ranks so I was mindful of some fly kicks as I handed out the medals. However, their proud parents kept a close eye on the boys and I managed to escape in one piece.

After our three-day break in the south of Spain last week it was back to full training on Saturday afternoon before our main get-together of the season with our fans later that evening.

The players' Player of the Year award went to Gavin Skelton, Stevie Tosh picked up the sponsors' award and James Grady was named best newcomer.

Yours truly won the supporters' Player of the Year for the second season in succession and all the squad appreciate the backing from our hard-core support, who have been excellent throughout the campaign.

So, too, it has to be said, have my bosses and colleagues at Wishaw General, who have again agreed to swap shifts to give me the best preparation for a big game.

I work every Wednesday at the hospital, which rarely causes problems as it's almost always a day off for full-time footballers, but rotas have had to be changed this week as we'll be preparing right up until kick-off.

I enjoy working in medicine and it's a genuine privilege to help make patients feel better - and it's sometimes no bad thing to get away from football.

I work in the rheumatology clinic, which deals largely with referrals from GPs of patients who suffer from problems such as arthritis and osteoporosis.

I also work afternoons in the department that deals with joint injections but right now it's my credit card that could do with a shot.

In saying that, here's hoping it's the Hearts players who aren't feeling too grand come Saturday night.

Taken from the Daily Record