Better than The Sopranos

By Damian Smyth
26 March 2006

WHAT has the smoking ban, which comes into force in Scotland today, got in common with the Hearts management team?

Simple.

One draw and yer oot.

Graham Rix – the surprise draftee appointed first-team coach in November following the even more stunning departure of George Burley – was deemed a failure by both chairman Roman Romanov and the club's majority shareholder (his pappy, Vladimir) for losing four of his 19 games in charge.

Never mind that the loss of Burley dealt a serious blow to the confidence of players who were performing way above expectations.

Or that Rix managed to pull the side out of the nose-dive that followed Burley's demise and restored the club again as favourites to secure the SPL's second Champions' League place.

Or that both halves of the Old Firm had also suffered serious and entirely unexpected defeats this season – circumstances which helped put Hearts in among them at this late stage in the term.

Or that Rix's side could easily have done even better than the 1-1 draw earned from their weekend home clash against Rangers.

The savagery of the ruling Romanov regime at Tynecastle has provided the longest running of the three incredible sagas in the SPL this term.

Celtic have turned round a season which threatened early on to go into meltdown in Bratislava. But even the shock Scottish Cup exit at Clyde did nothing to derail a relentless advance towards recovering the league title so humiliatingly lost in the last three minutes of last season.

The midweek win against Caley brought the Hoops to within six points of the championship – 17 ahead of the Jambos and a monstrous 23 clear of Rangers.

As for the Light Blues, with the history-making Champions' League run over, Alex McLeish officially a Dead Man Walking and his replacement confirmed, there is only the thrill of the chase left as huge chunks of the Hearts fuselage break away.

But anyone who watched the second and third-placed sides on Sunday will have seen that the 'thrill' is obviously not cutting much ice in the Gers dressing room.

What should have been a toe-to-toe thriller ended up like the Audley Harrison/Danny Williams heavyweight bout in December – two listless opponents using every inch of the pitch to avoid bumping into each other.

Only time will tell if Gers players, uncertain of their future under an incoming manager, and with little commitment to the outgoing incumbent, can manage to muster enough passion among them to take advantage of Hearts' disarray.

Bearing in mind that a trip across Glasgow to the lair of the champions-elect looms next month.

Not that the Hoops are an intimidating outfit by any means. A dull CIS Insurance Cup Final against Dunfermline was flattered by the full-time 3-0 scoreline. If ever there was an opportunity for puttin' on the Ritz, it was a match played in tribute to the twinkle-toes of Lisbon Lion Jimmy Johnstone.

In the end, the fact all the Celtic players sported the wee winger's number seven on their shorts was the most engaging feature of a leaden-footed afternoon at Hampden.

Even the midweek win at Parkhead was laboured, with the Hoop front-line struggling both to make chances and convert them.

It's significant that the opening strike came courtesy of Stephen McManus. A centre-back. His EIGHTH goal of the season.

Now, maybe it's just me, but a defender can sometimes score too often for comfort.

It's all very well blowing off about 'goals coming from all positions', but well-oiled, smooth-running, formidable football machines get their goals boringly from front-line strikers – from pressure and from play.

If Hoops boss Gordon Strachan is relying on McManus to feature among the opening scorers in Turin, Athens or Valencia in the autumn, he's in for an eye-opener as distressing as that night in Bratislava last July.

Indeed, Caley's goal in the 90th minute might be a better indication of how the Bhoys will fare in those warm climates. It provided yet another clip for that rather lengthy bootleg video, Celtic's Comedy Defence 05-06.

There are enough hopeful signs for Gers fans, with Paul Le Guen almost in the dug-out and chairman David Murray's half-promise of cash for new players if not ringing at least tinkling in their ears.

But the trials of the Old Firm are all but over for this season.

Which is why we should be grateful to Hearts.

The English may have Premiership relegation battles, lower league promotion play-offs, pitch invasions and crowd violence to keep the juices flowing as the season runs down.

The SPL has the Romanovs.

Hooray!

It's better than The Sopranos.

from http://www.sundaylife.co.uk