BOLSHIE VLAD SHOOTS FROM THE LIP

THE sooner Hearts chairman Vladimir Romanov tires of Scottish football and comes south of the border the better.

The eccentric billionaire told journalists last week: "You remind me of those Bolsheviks in Soviet times who wanted to shoot a peasant only because he planted the seeds following his own way, and not their instructions.

"Once, they were ready to shoot a peasant but a clever one stopped them and said: 'Let's shoot him in the autumn after he has gathered his harvest'.

"I guess that if you could, I'd have already been shot by now, but whilst you can't, full of hate and anger, you are spreading manure on my crops."

A bit more interesting than Peter Kenyon explaining his strategies for Chelsea's global growth, isn't it?