SFA SHOULD FINE HEARTS AND HIBS FOR NOT WINNING THE TITLE THIS YEAR

AT the risk of stepping on the toes of fellow columnist Jim McLean (although he probably won't mind as it will give him something else to complain about) I think I'll kick off today with a right good moan.

I was struck by a rather depressing thought while reading yesterday's story about Scotland being covered by tropical rainforest in the year 3000.

If you think that's a terrifying scenario, what about the prospect of football fans sitting in the pub 904 years from now and saying: "Do you think a non-Old Firm club will ever win the SPL?"

I can't see it happening and I confidently predict Rangers and Celtic will be playing pass the parcel with the league trophy until the next Ice Age - before they start sharing the Scottish curling trophies as well.

It's now 21 years since Aberdeen became the last club to wrestle the Premier League title from their grasp.

And if you don't think that's such a long time ago, can I just remind you Dumb arton - yes, Dumbarton - finished ninth in the top flight that season.

It's nothing short of disgraceful neither Hearts nor Hibs will win this year's SPL.

Do you think the Edinburgh clubs - or any other team for that matter - will ever get a better chance?

Rangers have been in the doldrums for most of the season and, as Artmedia Bratislava and Clyde will testify, Celtic have also been far from invincible.

The fact Ladbrokes are paying out on Gordon Strachan's mob winning the title is nothing short of a national embarrassment.

Instead of making fools of themselves by trying to bankrupt St Mirren, perhaps the SFA should fine Hearts and Hibs for failing to mount a serious challenge. They certainly deserve some sort of punishment.

Petty squabbling, in-house fighting and good old-fashioned Lithuanian-style megalomania have spoiled what could have been a terrific season for Hearts.

And how frustrating are Hibs? We keep saying they're the best footballing side in the SPL and it wouldn't shock anyone if they recorded their third consecutive 3-0 victory at Ibrox this afternoon (an attractive 80/1 shot with the bookies, incidentally).

So how come they're just a measly two points ahead of a dreadful Rangers side that's stumbled from one crisis to the next?

As I wrote last week, the only consistent thing about Hibs this season has been their inconsistency. And my prediction that they would drop points at Falkirk was spot on.

I know Tony Mowbray has a team full of youngsters, but as my old pal Shug Taylor - a diehard St Johnstone fan - often hollers at McDiarmid Park: "If you're taking a man's wage, you should be doing a man's job."

Everybody seems to think Hibs will keep improving, but I'm not so optimistic. They're already losing their captain Gary Caldwell to Celtic.

How many other talented kids will take a similar path along the M8? Nope, Hibs and Hearts have totally blown it. And anyone who tuned in to the latest Old Firm derby must surely agree.

The Greatest Derby in the World? Aye right... I've seen better tussles at Cliftonhill between Albion Rovers and Airdrie.

No incidents. No entertainment. And, in terms of shots on target, you'd be forgiven for thinking both sets of strikers had been coached by US vice president Dick Cheney.

Honestly, Hearts and Hibs should be totally ashamed of themselves. What a wasted opportunity, eh?

There's now only one club capable of challenging the Old Firm. Yes, that's right, Gretna.

On Tuesday night they gubbed Clyde 4-0. So just think what they could do to Celtic?

Not to mention Rangers. The replay on Valentine's Night highlighted exactly what the romance of the Cup is all about.

Red roses for the first 200 ladies through the turnstile. And the Clyde players got rode.

Now we're down to the quarter-finals. One glance at a quite unbelievable draw and you'd think you were looking at the last eight of the Bell's Cup.

So who will eventually take the B-road to Hampden? And will Tennent's make way for a new sponsor - Lidl's own-brand lager?

We'll just have to wait and see.

Only one thing is certain. With Partick two games away from the final, those forests will probably now arrive earlier than 3000.

Well, just think of the damage done to the ozone layer above Maryhill by the chemicals oozing from all those mothballs.

Taken from the Daily Record