Heroic Henry is proving the darling of the Bankies, cutting a rebellious figure of 45

IT IS a fairly logical assumption that Henry Smith is unlikely to be fronting the next campaign espousing the virtues of vegetarianism. On a diet consisting primarily of red meat, chips and ice cream, with not a carrot or green bean in sight, the 45-year-old keeper, entered the veteran stage so long ago that he must be about to emerge from the other side into the footballing equivalent of the prehistoric age sooner rather than later.

"People think I must have some fancy diet or eat really healthily, but I don’t eat vegetables and I like chips," said the man who made his name during a 15-year stint at Hearts before dropping down the leagues to Ayr United, then non-league Glenafton, Gretna in the Unibond League and then back up to Clydebank in the summer. "Even when I was away with Scotland squads all I’d ever have was soup, steak and chips and strawberry ice cream. The other boys would ask me how I could eat that and then go out and train but my secret is that I’ve always worked my balls off in training, so I burned it all off."

That, along with his indefatigable appetite for the sport, have taken him this far, rather than the diet of porridge and bananas once favoured by Gordon Strachan.

Exactly a month shy of his 46th birthday he is the oldest player in the Scottish Football League by a country mile but still commands a regular place in Derek Ferguson’s promotion-chasing Clydebank. Sitting top of the Second Division, the side have been daubed the granddaddies of the Second Division and that moniker, along with five clean sheets in the league campaign and two on cup duty, is primarily due to Smith.

"We had a team meeting just after Darren Jackson joined us [on loan from St Johnstone] and I asked the manager if players had to be over 35 to get a game for us. I was just checking so that the younger players at the club knew where they stood."

The tale is recited with a smile on his face but it is a serious question many would have loved to have heard the answer to. However, don’t dare call Smith and his ageing team-mates a bunch of has-beens.

The man who could have opted for a career as a cricketer instead of a goalkeeper is apparently playing better than ever and he won’t shy away from telling anyone who’ll listen.

At the height of his Tynecastle career, Smith took stick from managers, goalkeeping coaches and team-mates alike for his lack of vocal direction on the pitch. Off it, however, he has always been willing to speak his mind and shows no signs of mellowing as he approaches his dotage.

While at Hearts he survived more than one war of words with Joe Jordan. "He told me it was him who had gotten me into the Scotland squad. I said: ‘no you didn’t, I got myself in. All you tried to do was undermine my confidence’. He didn’t want me in his side but I made sure I went out there in every game and played so well he couldn’t drop me. I wanted to shove it up him."

More recently, he tore strips off Frank Connor after Jordan’s former assistant labelled the goalkeeper and his then-team-mates a bunch of underachievers. "I told him he was talking rubbish. What’s the most important thing in football? It’s not winning trophies, it’s playing for your country and lots of us in the Hearts team did that so how can he say we are underachievers?"

However, the man who used to chuck pies back at the away crowd when they showered him with the greasy delicacies during his heyday may have to learn to curb his combative streak away from football. Having experienced six months on the dole before going down the mines for two years in his pre-football days, since dropping down the leagues again he has tried his hand at pub management and is now driving a private-hire cab on his days off. He is enjoying it and basks in the banter between himself and Celtic fans who spend the entire trip teasing him about the 1988 Scottish Cup semi-final where he dropped the ball three minutes from the end, allowing Celtic to level and then go on to win.

"I don’t mind Celtic fans, because it is all good-natured and they usually give me a big tip."

But, like that ball, one thing he is still getting to grips with is the concept that the customer is always right. "I hate being called a taxi driver and just after I’d started I picked up this woman and, just to be sure, I checked I was going the quickest way and she snapped back that I should know because I was the taxi driver. I soon told her. I’ve not had to collect her again since but if I do I bet she won’t call me a taxi driver again."

A touch of the Victor Meldrews perhaps, but he certainly won’t concede to having one foot in the grave, even in footballing terms. Coaching is the way forward, if/when he finally passes the gloves on to someone younger. But he wants to keep going as long as he can.

"It’s a great life and I’ve loved every minute of it. I have no regrets and despite being quite shy, I love being recognised."

But while Celtic and Hearts fans have no trouble doing that, at least one member of today’s Hearts squad had a bit of bother this week when Smith was one of the faces on the picture board at a charity quiz night. "Ricardo Fuller thought I was Del Pierro," he laughs. Yeah, football, for Smith is still a funny old game.

Taken from the Scotsman