Mystery of the empty seat

Tom Shields

3 Mar 1997

SOME female readers have taken gentle umbrage at the suggestion in this column last week that while it is a welcome and civilising trend for women to attend the footie, some of them have no real idea of what it is all about.

As evidence we cite the case of the empty seat at Parkhead.

With tickets at a premium, vacant places are a rarity.

So it was puzzling for season ticket holders in a row in the new north stand to have a seat beside them that was never occupied.

Then, early in January a chap started to turn up for every match.

His neighbours in Paradise were naturally curious as to where he had been for the first half of the season.

It was a rather embarrassing story, he said.

Had he been in prison, on the run from the polis, or some other equally valid excuse they wondered.

The man explained that the season ticket was a present from his wife.

She had bought it in the summer and decided to put it away as a surprise Christmas present for him.

q FOR a change, Celtic supporters approach an Old Firm match without a sense of dread.

A Hearts team who have proved themselves no mugs were brushed aside on Saturday with an awesome display of skill and power.

Paulo di Canio was at the heart of it, at times single-handedly keeping the entire Hearts team busy.

He scored an acrobatic clinching goal but will probably be better remembered in this match for an amazing bit of business on the Hearts bye-line.

His way was blocked by two defenders, but he executed a tricky back flick through a defender's legs and with one bound he was free.

Fans could be heard uttering Desmond Lynam's old phrase ''Just how did he do that?'' When you see the incident again on video, it is clearly of such great paranormal skill that an investigation by Scully and Mulder, not Des Lynham, is required.

What Di Canio also contributes is the opportunity for the deep belly laugh which is so rare in football.

(We will avoid any references at this point to Andy Goram's own goal against Aberdeen.) The prospect of yet another yellow card does not deter Paulo from extracting the michael from referees.

His miming of a tearful, chastised schoolboy probably broke a whole raft of SFA regulations prohibiting outbreaks of humour at football matches.

No doubt Jim farry will consult the video evidence and homologate the necessary sanctions.

Of Jorge Cadete little needs to be said except that he keeps putting the ball in the netty despite the best efforts of opposing defences and the assistant masons in the black.

The real hero for Celtic on Saturday was Andreas Thom.

He contributed the passes for both Celtic's goals.

His precise and direct style complements the southern European elan of Di Canio and Cadete.

John Mallon, a pipe-sucking and sagacious Celtic supporter I have quoted before in these columns, describes Andy Thom as Tommy Burns's Prussian officer.

He may lack the duelling scar but on his day offers the cool and clinical efficiency required to do down the opponent.

The tabloid prints tell us that Thom's days are numbered at Celtic Park due to a lack of commitment.

Judging by Saturday's game, if Andreas Thom's heart is not in it, I am a founder member of Brigton Loyal.

Enrico Annoni looks to be a promising addition to the Parkhead Foreign Legion.

He is sure-footed with great positional sense.

And he has a skill little seen in recent Celtic defences.

He can pass the ball.

Forward.

And to one of his own players.

It has to be said that the Bald Destroyer is not the fastest player in the game but his wily ways should see him through.

He will have to come to terms quickly with the Scottish referees.

Enrico's wee welcoming cuddle for Hearts winger Neil McCann earned him a yellow card.

We await with some interest Enrico's jousts with Laudrup, Gascoigne et Ally.

Taken from the Herald