Oct 1 2007 Gordon Parks Reports

Clydesdale Bank Premier League Spl Hearts Nick Game From Saints With Help From Vlad's Black Magic Box

ST MIRREN 1

HEARTS 3

CRAIG GORDON let the cat out of the bag by informing the world that Hearts pick their team with the help of a magic black box.

Well if that's to be believed St Mirren should ask for it to be recovered and launch an investigation as to why they crashed and walked away with nothing from this game.

The Scotland keeper's pre-match tabloid revelations and dirty-linen airing of Vladimir Romanov's reign painted a picture of the ongoing black comedy at Tynecastle.

Despite a welcome if not worthy 3-1 win, it was the off-park happenings which provided the entertainment as they failed to inspire much to talk about on it.

Romanov's methods may be unorthodox and make for great headlines but the Tynecastle owner enjoyed the one bit of jiggery pokery money can't buy - good old-fashioned luck.

But for Saints it's no laughing matter as they put their all into a game which never looked likely to go their way despite creating a hatful of chances and enjoying the bulk of the play.

On the day one former Hearts keeper decided to go public it was the chance for French goalie Anthony Basso to make his first appearance for the club.

Regular No. 1 Steve Banks had failed the magic box test just hours earlier after a bout of sickness and diarrhoea and he made way as one of four changes from the CIS Cup line-up which needed extra time to edge out Dunfermline last Tuesday.

Straight from the kick-off there was panic for the home side as Christian Nade rounded keeper Chris Smith only to have his cross kicked to safety by Will Haining.

The former French Under-21 cap provided a powerful attacking option for the visitors with Andrius Ksanavicius and Laryea Kingston in support.

The only tinkering needed from Saints boss Gus MacPherson was to reintroduce Franco Miranda into a midfield role to join Stephen O'Donnell and Chris Birchall in supporting lone striker Billy Mehmet.

In the sixth minute Saints appealed in vain for a penalty as Robbie Neilson appeared to handle inside the area under pressure from Miranda. The Hearts defender survived the strong claim and moments later swept a crossfield pass into the path of Nade who blasted an effort just wide from a tight angle.

On the 14th minute mark, Nade turned provider as he fed a ball through to Michael Stewart who was denied by a superb John Potter block as he prepared to pull the trigger.

It was far from thrilling Sunday fare but there was enough action at both ends to provide a taste of better things to come and Billy Mehmet glanced a header at Basso from a Birchall free-kick.

One of the more earth-shattering insights from Gordon on the world of madVlad was his plan for a radical new-look club strip mirroring that of rivals Hibs with tartan shorts and a sporran to match. But as play continued to break down, the impression was either side couldn't have spotted a team-mate even if they were kitted out in their birthday suit.

Earth-shattering fact No. 2 from the departed Scotland No.1. Apparently the players endured training sessions complete with wrestling bouts and piggy backs and it showed. Ball control and creative invention in possession are obviously off the menu at Riccarton these days.

What had started brightly had become a masterclass in strangling the life out of the Buddies' midfield. In the 26th minute the home side carved out their best chance so far as Haining rose to meet a Miranda free-kick but it was inches too high.

Five minutes before the break the deadlock was broken and it was that man Nade. The striker terrorised young Ryan McCay on the right and his cross was scrambled clear for a corner only for Michael Stewart to deliver the dead ball to the far side of the area, allowing Andrew Driver to smack a low effort from 20 yards past Smith.

It was a moment which in an instant brought Love Street to life and even the Buddies sparked into action to claim McCay was impeded as the corner came in.

The last act of the half was left to referee John Underhill who booked Ksanavicius for a succession of fouls. It was also to be the final contribution from the Lithuanian who was kept inside at half-time and replaced by Calum Elliot.

Just two minutes after the restart the home side suffered a blow when defender Haining limped off as Stewart Kean entered the fray to add more punch to their attack.

Sustained pressure from the Buddies should have brought a reward but Jose Goncalves denied Birchall with a brave interception and then Ibrahim Tall swept clear as Mehmet looked set to level it.

Their mission became near impossible as ref Underhill awarded Hearts a penalty in the 55th minute. The official judged David van Zanten to have taken the legs from Stewart inside box.

Despite the major doubt hanging over the decision, Stewart made little fuss over drilling his effort high past Smith.

It appeared hard justice but Saints were lucky to get off the hook in the 65 th minute as Driver's cross ran across the face of goal and eluded the outstretched boot of Nade.

With time running out for Saints, Mark Corcoran arrived from the bench and the striker made an instant impact by heading home a Birchall cross in the 77th minute.

Saints continued to attack but their fate was sealed eight minutes from the end when Driver released substitute Andrius Velicka who rolled the ball under Smith.

MAN OF THE MATCH Christian Nade (Hearts)

Taken from the Daily Record