OUR EURO FLOPS ACT AS REALITY CHECKS

WE surely know each other well enough by now that I can take you into my confidence. It can be revealed exclusively that I was an avid viewer of the first series of I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here.

Getting that off my chest makes me feel better almost immediately and, in my defence, the 'celebrities' involved in those opening episodes in the Australian jungle came close to living up to that billing unlike their recent equivalents.

I mean, Tony Blackburn, Darren Day, Nell McAndrew, Uri Geller, Christine Hamilton, Tara Palmer-Half-Back-Line. That was quality.

Anyway, my point is that I got it out of my system and I've managed to give a wide berth to subsequent celebrity shows involving a big brother or a love island or incorporating cooking, singing or dancing.

But my relationship with reality television has been re-established in the past week.

And it was harsh reality that was dished out to Hearts and Gretna as two European dreams died with the new season having barely started.

I watched the Tynecastle team on the box being completely outclassed by AEK Athens at Murrayfield on Wednesday night and only the ridiculous optimist would say Hearts are heading anywhere other than into the first round of the UEFA Cup.

Maybe that's the best place for them at this stage.

To get to the Champions League group stages would have been a wonderful achievement but the truth is they're not yet ready to play at that level.

I paid tribute last week to the £35million committed by Vladimir Romanov to keeping Hearts at Tynecastle and holding on to some of their biggest on-field assets.

And there's no doubt that, when Valdas Ivanauskas and Romanov are able to pick their strongest side Hearts are an impressive outfit.

We're now beginning to see why former gaffer George Burley described 23-year-old Roman Bednar, just named in the Czech Republic senior squad, as the best young striker he'd ever worked with.

Craig Gordon has become one of the top keepers in Europe and, in front of him, Hearts still have the tightest defence in the SPL despite the loss of Andy Webster to Wigan.

But the explosive midfield talents of Rudi Skacel have gone as well and, if you take away Paul Hartley and Julien Brellieraswasthecase midweek, the Jambos are a pale shadow of what they can be at their best.

Flu victim Brellier was arguably the biggest miss at Murrayfield.

Newly-signed Greek defender Christos Karipidis looked like a fish out of water in the holding midfield role and the balance of the side was all wrong.

Hearts are still too dependent on a hard core of key players and the lack of genuine quality down the pecking order, even allowing for last Sunday's defeat of Celtic, is becoming increasingly apparent.

AEK were in a different class and the only surprise was it took them till the closing minutes to get their goals.

A red card for Bruno Aguiar didn't help but Hearts would have struggled to hold on even with a full complement on the pitch.

Gordon Smith, on the BBC, reckoned it was a harsh sending-off. I thought the Portuguese midfielder was just plain daft.

Any player already on a yellow card who throws the ball away after conceding a free-kick has to accept the inevitable consequences.

I was in the TV studio for the Gretna game the following night and almost had an extra guest at half-time, alongside Jim Duffy and David Bingham, when one of the Derry City fans tried to batter his way in the window behind me.

There were 3,000 of his mates with him in the Davie Cooper Stand at Motherwell and they made a welcome racket from start to finish.

They deserved to be behind the winning team and Gretna were blown away by a blistering display of top-drawer finishing

AEK took more than 30 efforts to get their two goals against Hearts. Derry had five shots on target, all of them exploding behind Gretna keeper Alan Main.

It's a timely warning to last season's Second Division champions that, despite the incredible journey they've taken in the last four years, there's still a considerable distance to cover if the progress is to be maintained. Stevie Tosh's failure to look for a pass rather than a shot after rounding Derry goalie David Forde and the free-kick cheaply conceded by skipper Chris Innes (below), which led to City's second goal, were two glaring Gretna gaffes.

Maybe the 6-0 hammering of Hamilton on their debut in the First Division was, with hindsight, harmful.

When Gretna went ahead at Fir Park there seemed to be a feeling it was job done. That couldn't have been further from the truth.

Football fantasy was shunted to the sideline by grim reality. Same goes for Hearts.

Yet again the truth hurts for Scottish football. It's a jungle out there.

Taken from the Sunday Mail