There's still time to lay on a Greek greeting

THIS week, Edinburgh welcomes possibly the only people in Europe more wild than Fernando Ricksen - the supporters of AEK Athens.

Armed with flares, bad tempers and probably a few pounding headaches too, judging by all that screaming, the deranged Greeks are due in at Edinburgh Airport tomorrow ahead of Wednesday's meeting with Hearts at Murrayfield. Now, rather than sitting back and slipping into a state of shock at the pure mental behaviour of the southern Europeans, the Hearts fans could do their side a favour and stay one step ahead of the game this week.

Were AEK landing in Glasgow there would be greater justification for the unfurling of "Welcome to Hell" banners but that shouldn't prevent the Jambos cooking up a nice tasty welcome for their visitors as soon as they step off the plane.

Normally, it's custom to play the role of the ever-hospitable and ever-jovial Scots when a European side visits. I take no issue with that approach when we're welcoming a team of Finnish ice-skaters or Albanian waiters but the Greeks don't cross their own doorsteps without being ready for a rammy so I propose everyone here takes the same approach for the next two or three days.

Rather than offering handshakes and cups of tea, let's get some intimidatory bawling of our own going at International Arrivals. Strike the first blow and jump about like nutters all night outside their hotel - car horns, air horns, fireworks, clackers (if anyone still has them).

We all know how much Vladimir Romanov likes his loan deals, so why not borrow some of Scottish football's most notorious supporters for a fitting welcome? A couple of busloads of Aberdeen fans should do the trick.

If the Hearts boys don't betray some hostility, then heaven help them in a fortnight when they visit Athens. "Ah'm not goin there," says my Jambo friend Richy, his eyes filled with more trepidation than those of a Sunday newspaper journalist when writing an exposé on Tommy Sheridan.

"Kenny [our Hibernian associate] says the Hibs boys got well done in over there a few years back. He's still got the scar fae the solid steel lighter that one of the Greeks bounced off his heid. No chance, ah'm stayin' right here."

Richy's never been the boldest. He's the only guy I know who's proud to be called a prawn sandwich-muncher, so perhaps Athens isn't for him. But ahead of Wednesday, it should be a case of Tesco - every little helps - in an attempt to intimidate and unsettle AEK and their support to the point of handing Hearts an advantage for the first leg. As well as a few scraps and burning seats, Wednesday night could also see the first appearance in a Hearts shirt of Mauricio Pinilla, the recent Chilean signing on a year's loan from Sporting Lisbon. Now, what was I saying about Vlad and loans?

Apparently, Pinilla likes the ladies and is something of a heartthrob over in Santiago. Mind you, when the alternative's a pillar of rotundness like Sebastian Rozental or the pig in trousers that is Ivan Zamorano, then Pinilla doesn't seem like too bad a proposition. Given the limited choice, I'd have to go for him myself.

Just as long as he doesn't play like a pretty boy - the Greeks will eat him for breakfast if he does.

That's if they've got any stomach left after being frightened half to death by the Hearts fans, of course.

Taken from the Scotsman