I'M all for this all-Edinburgh Scottish Cup final lark. The Capital clubs are both leading favourites for the cup after rampant weekend victories, so I say bring it on at Hampden on May 13.

With no Old Firm presence in the quarter-finals for the first time since 1987, Hearts and Hibs, if they can stop laughing, must realise the rarity of such a major trophy being openly there for the taking.

God knows Edinburgh supporters have suffered enough anguish at the National Stadium, so I'd be delighted to see one half or the other have a joyous day in May.

It's also round about cup final time that the Queen's Birthday Honours' list is announced, and for me the time has come to salute Vladimir Romanov with a honorary OBE. Not so much an "Officer of the Order of the British Empire" as an "Oops, I've Bought Everybody" award, the kind previously only achieved by people like Walter Smith, Jose Mourinho and Florentino Perez, the Galactico-crazy president of Real Madrid.

Romanov has claimed more signatures than a dole office recently. Eight players recruited inside 24 hours last week revealed Hearts' majority shareholder as the transfer deadline-day master. Surely he deserves to be recognised alongside some of the finest members of this country's society.

David Beckham, Joan Collins, Patrick Moore... all have been granted an OBE in years gone by and are well worthy of their accolade. Carol Vorderman is also on the OBE list, although I'm unable to divulge the reasons for that due to the complete absence of any.

Romanov now, in the opinion of this column, would fully merit a letter from the Queen's man, big Phil. The Duke of Edinburgh issues the OBE nominations, and it's about time he recognised a guy who has created endless employment opportunities in the Capital after last week's signing bender.

Mirsad Beslija, Chris Hackett, Juho Makela, Jose Gonc ... in fact, I'm tired just trying to write all these names. In some ways I wish Romanov would give it a rest because I'm absolutely knackered trying to keep up. If he goes at it like a maddy again in the summer I'll be resigning.

Not only that, Romanov will soon be facing serious opposition from players' agents. Why should other clubs in the hunt for a new face go through agents and subject themselves to paying their exorbitant fees when they could just give Vlad a ring and pick a player from his extensive set? What was that I was saying about a dole office?

I'm told that, as midnight passed in the Tynecastle boardroom last Tuesday, the club owner had to be dragged kicking and screaming from the negotiating table, bawling more than a few Russian expletives into the night as the arrival of FIFA's deadline spoiled his fun.

Signing players with this kind of tenacity should ensure he is a cert to make the Birthday Honours' List. Of course, Hibs supporters might not be overly keen to endorse any OBE for Romanov, so in the interests of fairness I'm sure the Lithuanian would settle for a CBE. "Completely Bank-rolled Everything".

On the subject of Hibs, I'd like to balance out this Romanov eulogy, which is verging towards slabbering proportions, by offering my sincere congratulations to Tony Mowbray and Rod Petrie for standing up to the SPL playground bullies over Derek Riordan, pictured, and then dumping them out of the Scottish Cup as a follow-up.

Some of the comments peddled by our friends in the Glasgow-based media last week after Rangers' offers for Riordan were rejected fell little short of kiddies' tantrums, the kind you see on a Saturday afternoon when Mum and Dad say no to their demand for a new toy in Woolies. However, Hibs remained defiant in telling Rangers where to go, and good on them.

If Manchester United, or another reputable European club, had offered Alex McLeish £450,000 for Dado Prso, or even double that, nine months before his contract was due for expiry, would the Rangers manager roll over and allow Fergie to tickle his tummy whilst giving it, "Okay then, I'll give you him since you asked nicely"? Riordan remaining in Leith will allow him to further his development throughout the final few months of his Easter Road contract as opposed to suffering Kenny Miller syndrome on the Ibrox bench.

And anyway, one streetwise Scot in the Rangers squad is quite enough for now. "Gaffur, big Marv's jist broke ma snib," was the cry heard around Murray Park the other week. Barry Ferguson, after his training-ground collision with Mr Andrews, will hardly be relishing a confrontation with the similarly clumsy Dion Dublin on Sunday then, when Celtic visit Ibrox.

And no offer from big Marv to utilise his faith-healing techniques and cure Baz's beak. Disgraceful.

In spite of his broken nose, Ferguson could have a notable advantage in fitness over Dublin by the time the Glasgow clubs meet, for I can reveal that Celtic's free transfer from Leicester City reserves will be forced to miss two training sessions a week at Parkhead. Tuesday is the day his home help comes round and on Fridays he gets Meals on Wheels delivered through Glasgow City Council.

With Neil Lennon, Roy Keane and now Dublin on board, one half the Old Firm are fast becoming the old infirm.

Taken from the Scotsman