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| Year | Event |
| 2003 | Ferranti Thistle reform and beat Hibs in the Scottish Masters Cup Final.
Thistle: Thompson Allan, Adrian Sprott, Ralph Callaghan, Darren Jackson, Stevie Hancock, Victor Kasule. Hibs: Gottskallson, McKee, Farrell, Sneddon, Tortolano, Fellinger, Evans. |
| 2004 | Hibs approach Kevin McKee, David Fellinger and Victor Kasule with the offer of first-team football. |
| 2005 | Tom McManus keeps "Most Promising Youngster" trophy having won it three years in a row. |
| 2006 | Sir Tom Farmer announces he will service Hibernian Football Club's debt by offsetting it against the GNP of a small South American Country he has acquired. |
| 2007 | Hibs appoint new Chief Executive. |
| 2008 | John Lambie appointed manager of Partick Thistle. |
| 2009 | St Johnstone win Scottish Cup, the first trophy in their history. |
| 2010 | Hearts move to Ingliston. |
| 2011 | Council proposes building of third runway at Edinburgh Airport. |
| 2012 | President Bin Laden wins re-election for second term in White House |
| 2013 | Hibs sign Mixu for another one-year contract for the eleventh year running. |
| 2014 | England announce their squad for the 2014 World Cup. It's Holland. |
| 2015 | Scottish Parliament building finally completed. |
| 2016 | Referendum abolishes Scottish Parliament, and Mary Marquis is made Queen. |
| 2017 | Bobby Williamson's contract as Hibs manager not renewed. Hibs appoint a football legend as temporary manager while Berti considers the offer. |
| 2018 | The Conservative Party returns to power after many years in the wilderness. The good news is it's not in Britain. The bad news is it's South Africa. |
| 2019 | Franck Sauzee wins his third successive German League Championship as manager of Bayern Munich. |
| 2020 | Hibs win first competitive league match under Berti Vogts. |
| 2021 | John Lambie appointed manager of Partick Thistle. |
| 2022 | Graham Weir breaks John Robertson's record of 27 goals scored against Hibernian. |
| 2023 | Spice Girls reform. No, literally re-form. Don't look, it's horrible. |
| 2024 | Berti Vogts leaves Hibs to take up England manager's job. |
| 2025 | Craig Brown joins Hibs as Technical Football Consultant. |
| 2026 | Celtic and Rangers announce that the formation of the Atlantic League is imminent. Games will be played in the Azores, the Canary Islands and Rockall. |
| 2027 | Diego Maradona tests positive for Werther's Old Originals and is disqualified from the dominoes. |
| 2028 | SFA confident that joint bid with Spain, Italy and France to host European Championships will succeed. |
| 2029 | 30 years after the death of Harry Haddock, Clyde win the Scottish Cup. |
| 2030 | John Lambie passes away. A Nation Mourns. Pigeons breath sigh of relief. |
| 2031 | John Lambie appointed manager of Partick Thistle. |
| 2032 | Estonia win European Championship Final in Tallinn. SFA goes bankrupt, financially as well as morally |
| 2033 | Moon landings proved to be real. It's the earth that's fake. |
| 2034 | 36 years after the last one, Hearts win the Scottish Cup. |
| 2035 | Small South American country declared bankrupt, unable to sustain Hibs' losses. Sir Tom Farmer jnr sells home and moves into the hold of the Royal Yacht Britannia. |
| 2036 | Leo Blair becomes Prime Minister. |
| 2037 | Coronation of King Leo 1st. |
| 2038 | Hearts finish bottom of the Scottish Premier League, but since Falkirk are 1st Division Champions, there's no relegation this year. |
| 2039 | Stuart Crowther bans himself from Hibs.net, sets up Hair.net and is sectioned by his family |
| 2040 | Roy Keane says he is retiring from International Football. |
| 2041 | East Stirlingshire win the Scottish Cup. |
| 2042 | The village of Bonkle is razed to the ground. |
| 2043 | "Friends" starts its 67th series: 'The one with the plastic hip'. |
| 2044 | Paul Kane dies, is stuffed and goes on display in the Natural History Museum. |
| 2045 | New Wembley Stadium "on schedule but a little over-budget" |
| 2046 | Third Lanark reformed at Cathkin. |
| 2047 | Third Lanark win Scottish Cup. |
| 2048 | Glenn Hoddle dies and is re-incarnated as person with disability as a result of bad karma in his previous life. |
| 2049 | Loudon Wainwright VII tops the bill at Manumission |
| 2050 | the 1st Baronet de Fferguisson of the The Trafford Estaites relinquishes his control of Real Manchester Worldwide, buys St Mirren and winds them up as revenge for 1978. |
| 2051 | Hibs reach the Scottish Cup final for the first time in 50 years, losing 11-0 to Morton. "Over-reliance on flair" is blamed. |
| 2052 | Angling becomes an Olympic event. |
| 2053 | "Harry Potter and the Wheelchair of Death" wins Best Special Effect award at the BAFTAs |
| 2054 | Israel and Palestinian announce a ceasefire. The rest of the world just calls it "reloading". |
| 2055 | Hibs beat Ettrickbridge 10-0 in a pre-season friendly. The Scotsman devotes the back three pages and the supplement to The Dawn of a New Silky Football Era. |
| 2056 | David Gillespie posts his 1,000,000,000th message to Kickback. |
| 2057 | At the full time whistle, it's Auchinleck 2 Cumnock 4. Alive. |
| 2058 | Piedmont beat Saxony in the final of the European Nations' Cup. |
| 2059 | Gareth Gates seen advertising stairlifts for the elderly on afternoon telly. You get a choice of free gift, too. |
| 2060 | Scotland loses bidding for Euro Championships but accepts the Eurovision Song Contest as consolation. Three new theatres are built in Glasgow. |
| 2061 | Surveys prove that smoking cigarettes makes you live longer after all. Marlboro demands $7 trillion back. |
| 2062 | Hibs' Liquidators go into Receivership. |
| 2063 | Queen's Park win Scottish Cup |
| 2064 | Queen's Park win Scottish Cup |
| 2065 | Queen's Park win Scottish Cup |
| 2066 | Queen's Park win Scottish Cup |
| 2067 | Queen's Park win Scottish Cup |
| 2068 | Celtic and Rangers re-apply to join Scottish League. |
| 2069 | English League expands by 46 new clubs. |
| 2070 | Scottish Cup Final abandoned after 3rd replay owing to crowd violence. |
| 2071 | Panic buying as World War 3 breaks out and America is mobilised. It ends ten minutes later as Nicaragua surrenders. Italy surrenders too, just in case. |
| 2072 | England win the Ashes for the first time since 1986. |
| 2073 | Simon Pia writes anniversary piece in "The People's Friend" about Hearts fans still having nightmares about the 7-0 defeat. |
| 2074 | Heart of Midlothian's 200th Birthday. Many happy returns. |
| 2075 | "200 Years of Hibs" video released in limited edition pigs-earskin cover. "Featuring: the Famous Five! The Dryburgh Cup!! Floodlights!!!" |
| 2076 | Jimmy Hill resuscitated to present new-look "Match of the Day" |
| 2077 | "Porridge" repeats on BBC1. |
| 2078 | Wimbledon FC relocate to Aukland, New Zealand. |
| 2079 | Chick Young reports genuine exclusive. |
| 2080 | Intergalactic Cup Final: Earth 0 Mars 4. Subsequently discover that four earth players are actually Mysteron agents. |
| 2081 | Scottish referees model their new kit. |
| 2082 | Hibs 4-2 ahead going into injury time in Scottish Cup Final. |
| 2083 | Aberdeen win European Cup-Winners' Cup for the second time in their history. |
| 2084 | London Hearts' centenary. |
| 2085 | Ettrickbridge win Scottish Cup |
| 2086 | Hearts lose League by 1 goal on last day of season as Celtic beat St Mirren 32-0. |
| 2087 | 78 fans arrested on Venus after crowd trouble during the England Gallifrey game. |
| 2088 | David Murray celebrates 100 years in charge of Glasgow Rangers. |
| 2089 | Following the tragic death of Tom McManus in a drive-by shooting, Hibs appoint a familiar face as manager. |
| 2090 | Rangers say "Oh, what the hell, it's all true," and celebrate the 400th anniversary of the Battle of the Boyne. |
| 2091 | FA Cup stolen on eve of Final. A Cyberman's head is hurriedly used as replacement. |
| 2092 | One hundred years after John Hartson, scientists finally perfect a footballer made entirely from animal body parts. |
| 2093 | Daleks take over world and win FA Cup. Unfortunately they can't collect the trophy because of the steps. They destroy a small South American country as revenge. |
| 2094 | Sir Tom Farmer 3rd last heard of selling old space suits out of the back of a Ford Zodiac in Restalrig. |
| 2095 | Hearts beat St Bernards in final of the Irn Bru Roseberry Shield. |
| 2096 | Bob Crampsey bemoans the state of football, saying "It was far better in 2038" |
| 2097 | Since reform of House of Lords proves too difficult, House of Commons abolished instead. |
| 2098 | 100 years since The Best Day Of Our Lives. |
| 2099 | "Watch yer spaceship, mister?" heard on the streets of Camlachie |
| 2100 | Dr Who returns to tackle a nasty problem. |
| 2101 | Civil Service Strollers win Scottish Cup. |
| 2102 | Hibs Win Cup! in fairground shooting gallery at Buffalo Bill's Non-Crooked Shooting Gallery at Leith Links shows |