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Gary Locke <-auth Fraser Anderson auth-> Brian Colvin
----- Kenny McLean
16 of 025 Jamie Walker 13 ;Kevin McHattie 43 ;Jamie Hamill pen 54L SPL H
Hearts 3 St.Mirren 0
Written by Fraser Anderson.

As the media have attempted in recent weeks to fabricate a "great escape" survival bid from SPL basement boys Dundee, the only thing more perplexing has been dark blues' manager John Brown's bizarre "mind games" appearing incessantly in this week's tabloids. Derren Brown will have had trouble sleeping, I'm sure. Claims that St Mirren have been "sinking like the Titanic" have been met with laughter and ridicule from many quarters, and Saints headed to Edinburgh this afternoon looking to prove Brown wrong and that they could remain afloat in the top flight. At 4.50pm however, it appeared that "Bomber" may well have had a point.

Today's shambolic 3-0 defeat to Heart of Midlothian has summed up the lack of drive to get the basic job done over the past couple of months. The large travelling support were left dishevelled by goals from Jamie Walker, Kevin McHattie and Jamie Hamill; prompting anxious glances over the black and white shoulders in the direction of Aberdeen's visit to Tayside on Sunday afternoon.

From the first whistle the Buddies sadly never got going in this encounter, and the basics such as passing and control were left behind in the dressing room. In fairness the biting wind that kindly pushed the Jambos towards Craig Samson's goal did not help as the weather belittled the earlier May sunshine.

Although the hosts started brightly it was Saints who had the first decent chance to score. Steven Thompson's knock-down was battered over by Lee Mair which would sadly be their only real chance of the half. It took Hearts until the thirteenth minute to create their first meaningful opportunity – which resulted in the opening goal of the afternoon. Jamie Walker surged towards the St Mirren end with only one idea at the forefront of his mind. With defenders failing to attack the situation, the youngster fired a tremendous shot off the underside of the bar and into the net. A poor start had become disastrous, and Walker subsequently, and quite unintentionally, assisted Sutton with a miscued shot that the former Buddie headed over. Dale Carrick's attempt also ended up in the stands as he tried to emulate his fellow product of the Riccarton youth academy.

With Hearts' attacks filled with pace and promise it wasn't surprising that there were several fouls for referee Brian Colvin to contend with. However David van Zanten's booking was frankly a ridiculous decision – the defender nicked the ball away from an opponent before the two collided. Darren Barr evened up the ink in the referee's notebook as he received a caution for obstructing a Samson kick. Van Zanten's booking threatened a second caution, therefore Danny Lennon replaced the right back with Sam Parkin minutes before the break to offer a three-man strike force.


The Tynecastle outfit had the game by the scruff of the neck. They were first to every single ball, and looked threatening with each attack - a recurring theme for the match's entirety. The Buddies had trouble crossing their 30 yard line with several attacks quashed through misplaced passing or excellent defending. Either way it was a flavourless encounter from a Paisley point of view; a game that would become a whole lot worse just two minutes before half time.

Marc McAusland was harshly adjudged to have fouled a Hearts forward while defending a high ball. McHattie rammed the resulting free kick through the wall and under the goalkeeper for a catastrophic two-goal half time Gorgie advantage.

Saints started a lot brighter in the second half, and there was an air of anticipation in the away end as they surged towards goal with more conviction and urgency compared to the first 45 minutes. The match would turn in the home side's favour in one electrifying five-minute spell that had more drama and excitement for the travelling contingent than the rest of the game combined. Conor Newton, now at right back, surged towards goal, skipped past Barr before having his shot batted away by Jamie MacDonald at the near post. Gary Teale then had an effort of his own blocked, ensuring another corner kick. Teale himself swung the ball into the area for Sam Parkin to bullet a header towards goal, beating MacDonald but not Jason Holt as the midfielder headed Parkin's effort off the goal line. From the resulting corner, the men from the capital surged up the park in a sweeping counter attack. As McHattie looked certain to bury his chance for 3-0, Kenny McLean clattered his Scotland under-21 colleague and Colvin pointed to the spot. To further worsen matters the referee produced a red card to McLean for denying a clear goal-scoring opportunity, and to compound St Mirren's afternoon Jamie Hamill stroked the ball past Samson to inevitably seal the points after only 54 minutes. Any other game might have promised a revival, but not this one. After the rollercoaster of the previous few minutes, you felt that it just simply wasn't going to be our day.

Even when playing poorly Esmael Goncalves can pop up with an unlikely goal, however Isma's lack of spark saw him substituted for Jon Robertson. Bizarrely instead of running over to the bench, Goncalves walked off the pitch at the far side and walked to the dugout via the visiting fans, "high-fiving" both sets of supporters. He's a character that's for sure.

Paul McGowan, who also endured a quiet game, almost found glory but his shot was palmed away by MacDonald straight to Teale. He played a delicate chip over the keeper, only to be cleared off the line by Barr. Teale then skewed an effort wide when Thompson was free in the middle, leaving the Hearts net untouched. Samson was forced to push Walker's sliding shot wide as the youngster's performance more than deserved the sponsor's man of the match award.

Any chances of igniting resurgence were extinguished as Thompson beautifully lifted the ball over the onrushing MacDonald with Parkin certain to nod the ball home. Yet again the ball was agonisingly cleared from the goal-line as the exasperated away support looked on in anguish. Having picked up a booking himself Thompson was taken off in favour of Lewis Guy, while St Mirren carried on with only nine men as Sam Parkin spent a fair while receiving treatment for a nose injury. Neither event had much impact on the outcome, as the final chance saw Hamill curling a free kick inches wide of Samson's goal.

It was an insipid performance from Saints. There's no getting away from how inadequate the team played in the first half, with bouts of excitement in the second period not coming close to befitting the status of an SPL side. They were outfought for every ball by a squad filled with academy graduates, somehow defying the skill and experience that normally flourishes in this St Mirren squad. Nervous eyes now dart towards Dens Park, hoping that Paisley-born Derek McInnes' Aberdeen side can do his hometown side a favour. However, the sad conclusion is that favours should not be sought from anyone. The distinct absence of conviction in certain matches recently hasn't reflected a side looking for to seal a record league finish, never mind guarantee SPL survival. The worst part of this stumbling, dragged-out mess is that John "Bomber" Brown's views have been vindicated, and furthermore that his inane ramblings did not serve as motivation to put this affair to bed. If that cannot motivate this set of players, it begs the sorry question; what will?
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