15.12.99
Hamzo for Hibs ?

“There is talk in the Swedish press (Dagens Nyheter 12/12/99) of forward Daniel Hamzo favouring a move to Hibernian as he becomes a free agent on the 31/12/99. Several European clubs including Standard Liege and Sampdoria are tracking the player who has been out of favour with his side Nacka for the past two seasons. Hamzo has played for Sweden U-15, U-18 and U-21.  My thanks to Joakim Sundstrom for what could be TPOE's first exclusive.”           

What he means is TPOE’s first correct exclusive. We’re still waiting for that one

No, hang on  –   it was on his website that he exclusively revealed he was giving it all up!!

6.12.99
Hope springs eternal

“I have not seen the highlights from Parkhead or read a single report. What's more, despite having a website to update, I have no intention of reading any. Sorry, but I can't face it.               I switched on the radio on Saturday to hear one pundit saying, 'it was four going on fourteen' and that was enough for me.  Whilst having to accept that we are playing in a league of 8 teams and that the Old Firm are untouchable, it is still heartbreaking to hear of your team taking such a tanking. We all know that it's a gigantic mismatch every time one of the 8 takes the field against the Glasgow duopoly -  Celtic's £5.5 million for Berkovic is probably more than we could sell our entire team for - and yet you cannot help hoping.  Football fans are nothing if not hopelessly unrealistic.”       

You really start to feel for this guy.  The worst of it is he’s probably aged 20-something.    Imagine how much funnier it would be if he was 55.

22.11.99
Lambs to the slaughter

“If you haven't read any of the weekend papers then, my advice would be, don't.  Pretend Saturday didn't happen and look forward to the St. Johnstone game on Wednesday night.”  

Have you ever noticed that ‘slaughter’ and ‘laughter’ are two very similar words  -  but both apply equally well?

1.11.99
Latapy talks

“Russell Latapy gave an interview to Friday Sportscene on television which contained some worrying inferences. He again stated his desire to play in England before his career ends which is fair enough. He also described Hibs as a nice, little club which suggests he has his eyes on bigger things. He then said that if an offer from an ambitious club came in that was good for Hibernian and good for him, then he may move. The way he phrased this almost suggested that he had discussed the possibility with Hibs and had come to some arrangement.                 I dare say, that if Russell Latapy continues his present electrifying form, then Hibs could cash in by selling him.  My view would be that the money will never buy a replacement for this man and also, that it would display a lack of ambition by the club.”                                Perhaps that’s the first TPOE exclusive! 

27.9.99
The search continues

“The Daily Record are reporting this morning that Hibs have turned to Tosh McKinlay in their search for cover in the left back position. The big surprise with this story is Hibs actually getting a mention in a paper that shows scant regard for any team outside the Old Firm.”     

Ah, young man, you are forgetting that they described Tosh as “ex-Celt McKinlay”…

20.8.99
Les Francais adorent Hibs

“The Scotsman has lifted details of an article published in the French daily, l'Equipe, which says Hibs and Aberdeen are vying for the signature of Christophe Cocard, a forward available on a free transfer from Lyon. Were he to sign for Hibs, he would become our fourth French player, joining Sauzee, Henry and Marinkov.”

Another TPOE scoop as he joins Kilmarnock!

20.8.99                                                                   

I don’t like the implication

“The Evening News, Monday 2^nd August, printed a story about Hearts considering a move to Murrayfield.    This is the kind of non-story that the Evening News carries from time to time and that will come to nothing.   Chris Robinson, Hearts Chief Executive, trotted out a fairly standard denial which was of no interest. What did catch my eye was part of the quote attributed to Robinson where he states, ‘Hearts are Edinburgh’s team, the establishment team in Edinburgh.’

The facts are that Edinburgh has two teams, both of which have a sizeable support and these supports are drawn from across the spectrum of people in the city. This statement is therefore both factually untrue and disparaging to Hibernian.

There can only be two possible explanations for this choice of words. Either, Chris Robinson is not too bright and did not realise what a distortion of the truth it was or he was following a deliberate, calculated agenda.  Chris Robinson does not strike me as lacking intelligence so it is almost a certainty that these words were chosen very carefully. And by choosing to label Hearts, ‘the establishment team’, what is he trying to say by implication about Hibs ?  All he has achieved in my eyes, is to demean himself.”  

Well, where d’ya start on this one? “Chris Robinson does not strike me as lacking whaaaat?”

21 December 1999
”Hibs under-21's went down 6-1 to Hearts last night at Easter Road.”

Careless of them.

8 September 1999
”Alex Marinkov has left Hibs and quit football altogether.  He has decided to return to France and work in the family business. Hibs agreed to release him from his contract and he has left on amicable terms.”

Some of us thought he joined Hibs and quit football altogether.

What a pity we don’t know what the family business is.  Cobblers?  Breeders of pigs?   Manufacturers of ball bearings?        

6 September 1999
”Hibs beat local rivals Hearts 3-1 yesterday in the first ever ladies match between the two clubs.

No, no, no, don’t even go there!

24 August 1999
”The new away strip has finally arrived in the shops.  You too can glow in the dark.           I am sure this will be popular with the fans.”

And popular with the rest of us.   That way we can see them coming.